I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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