there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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