dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
