So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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