i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Randomize
