There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
