we're chasing vodka with high fives
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
