i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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