why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Houston, we have a squirter
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
