Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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