What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
