i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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