He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Randomize
