so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
