Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
