he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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