you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
