that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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