Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
