i would punch a child for taco bell
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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