What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
