If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
