I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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