Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
