they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
