Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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