we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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