We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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