It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
