Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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