I have demons in me.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
