as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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