your room smells of hookers.
And success
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
