Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its not stalking. its research.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
