so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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