I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
