I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
