I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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