Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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