can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
