Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
