The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
