Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
