My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
