i don't like sucking hair
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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