Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
