I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Me. At least after what I've been through.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
