she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
