We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
