Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
